Down came the Nuts

About Me
Drinks I don't like: Sambuca
Food I don't like: Mushrooms
Average wake up time on a weekday in my current everyday life: 1pm
Favourite Number: 11 or 20
Height: 5'7"

Why have I done this again? I've figured that if I die abruptly and far too early, I wanna go with a bloody good obituary and a remarkably accurate and informative wikipedia entry! Any suggestions for questions you want answered are welcome.

DISCLAIMER: Not all questions will be answered. Answers from texts cost a standard network rate and questions from mobiles will cost considerably more. Questions asked after my early demise (I really am hoping for a long, happy life people!) will not be answered but may still be charged.

Was hesitant to go to the loo in work this week cos there was a massive spiders nest dangling above me. At home, I am considered one of the chief insect extinguishers by my mum and sister because of their irrational fears of moths and their ilk. Curiously, they don't show this same phobia towards butterflies.

Thing is, there's something unsettling about spiders at the best of times. I once had a really big one in my room in the middle of the night that kept making noise and when they're big enough to make a noise, they really do have to go. I had considered catching the critter and releasing him out of the window but he decided to sprint helter skelter into my travelling bag. (I was going somewhere the next day)

After a nervy half hour playing a game I like to call 'removing garments from the bag until the creepy little bastard falls out', the creepy little bastard fell out. As you may be able to guess, my patience and tolerance of creepy crawlies was at an all time low. (it was 2am and I had to be on a train at 9) It was at this point that I took a rolled up Nuts magazine and battered incy wincy to death. It was a brief and, I imagine, painless death because he was flat in miliseconds. Jokes about killing something with my Nuts? You are more than welcome.

So one big spider is pretty bad but the image of a cocoon containing hundreds of little arachnids doesn't sit well with me at all. I think it's the thought of what might happen should it suddenly burst open, showering me in harmless octopeds. I can think of more enjoyable experiences at toilet time.

Moving on from the killing of innocent insects, one of the more embarrassing social faux-pas' happened to me only last night. No, not the street side step dance...

I'd gone out for a drink with Jonny Stu, his fiancé Claire and Lloyd and afterwards Jon dropped me off home. Now as Claire got out of the car to get into the front, I went to give her a hug because they were both back off to Salisbury or Shaftesbury or some place in rural England where they live. The problem arose when I went left for the cheek kiss and she went right. With split seconds and milimeters before Jon would have been legally allowed to kill me, we both stopped abruptly and said awkward goodbyes.

Actually it had the potential to be cripplingly embarrassing but I found it pretty funny. I have no idea what she thinks about it...