Sheep or Cuttlefish?

Just a brief post this as I'm packing for an excursion north...and east. I'm off to Nottingham and there's a very good chance I'll have plenty of amusing anecdotes to tell afterwards. So keep an eye out for some of those next week.

For all you radio buffs who thought that Afan Fm had disappeared off the face of the earth, I bring great tidings.

As of 11am Monday the first of February, Afan FM returns to the airwaves in a triumphant fashion went plenty of pomp and substance and hopefully an olde fashioned town cryer to herald the return of Neath and Port Talbot's radio station par excellence. I'd be quite chuffed if Barry Cryer was called in to do that actually, or even better, Brian Blessed. However, it'll most likely be either Hannah, Hash or Richard, or maybe a combination of two of those three...or maybe all three and that'll do just fine. **

I'm quite looking forward to getting back to presenting again. I do enjoy newsreading but trying to compare the two is like comparing sheep and cuttlefish.

Sheep: Not a Cuttlefish Cuttlefish: Not a Sheep

As you can see, quite a marked difference there.

So normal service will resume next week when I'm back from my antics in Engerland.

PS. 6 NATIONS IS BAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PPS. Any feedback about this blog and suggestions for questions about me that you want answered are not only welcome but the first suggestion gets a free Brian Blessed-ism!

** If you're interested in catching the live return of Afan like a phoenix from the flames (but not like Radio Phoenix in Neath Port Talbot hospital) then go to www.afanfm.co.uk for the deets.

Down came the Nuts

About Me
Drinks I don't like: Sambuca
Food I don't like: Mushrooms
Average wake up time on a weekday in my current everyday life: 1pm
Favourite Number: 11 or 20
Height: 5'7"

Why have I done this again? I've figured that if I die abruptly and far too early, I wanna go with a bloody good obituary and a remarkably accurate and informative wikipedia entry! Any suggestions for questions you want answered are welcome.

DISCLAIMER: Not all questions will be answered. Answers from texts cost a standard network rate and questions from mobiles will cost considerably more. Questions asked after my early demise (I really am hoping for a long, happy life people!) will not be answered but may still be charged.

Was hesitant to go to the loo in work this week cos there was a massive spiders nest dangling above me. At home, I am considered one of the chief insect extinguishers by my mum and sister because of their irrational fears of moths and their ilk. Curiously, they don't show this same phobia towards butterflies.

Thing is, there's something unsettling about spiders at the best of times. I once had a really big one in my room in the middle of the night that kept making noise and when they're big enough to make a noise, they really do have to go. I had considered catching the critter and releasing him out of the window but he decided to sprint helter skelter into my travelling bag. (I was going somewhere the next day)

After a nervy half hour playing a game I like to call 'removing garments from the bag until the creepy little bastard falls out', the creepy little bastard fell out. As you may be able to guess, my patience and tolerance of creepy crawlies was at an all time low. (it was 2am and I had to be on a train at 9) It was at this point that I took a rolled up Nuts magazine and battered incy wincy to death. It was a brief and, I imagine, painless death because he was flat in miliseconds. Jokes about killing something with my Nuts? You are more than welcome.

So one big spider is pretty bad but the image of a cocoon containing hundreds of little arachnids doesn't sit well with me at all. I think it's the thought of what might happen should it suddenly burst open, showering me in harmless octopeds. I can think of more enjoyable experiences at toilet time.

Moving on from the killing of innocent insects, one of the more embarrassing social faux-pas' happened to me only last night. No, not the street side step dance...

I'd gone out for a drink with Jonny Stu, his fiancé Claire and Lloyd and afterwards Jon dropped me off home. Now as Claire got out of the car to get into the front, I went to give her a hug because they were both back off to Salisbury or Shaftesbury or some place in rural England where they live. The problem arose when I went left for the cheek kiss and she went right. With split seconds and milimeters before Jon would have been legally allowed to kill me, we both stopped abruptly and said awkward goodbyes.

Actually it had the potential to be cripplingly embarrassing but I found it pretty funny. I have no idea what she thinks about it...

My 11 albums of the last decade reposted here

After some light prompting by Andy, I've decided to create a list of the albums that have had an impact on my life in the last 10 years.

First some light history: On January 1st 2000, I was 12. My musical knowledge on the advent of the decade was negligible at best, I cared little about the charts and what was popular or what wasn't. I certainly didn't have a specific musical taste to call my own, instead I began borrowing heavily from my brother's steadily growing collection of albums, so my first real exposure to music I liked came from bands like Korn and the Defftones.

Here I present the albums that I have loved and the reasons for which I have loved them. I'll also provide some honourable mentions who could've made it to this list; the first draft contained 17 albums!!!

I'm going to try to do this in no particular order....Here goes!

10) Bleed American - Jimmy Eat World (2001)

I consider J.E.W. to be one of my favourite EVER bands and this album is the reason why. If you don't recognise the title, it'll be because they renamed it following September the 11th not to be controversial. They also renamed the title track to 'Salt Sweat Sugar'. That and 'The Middle' became the two main singles from the album but, for me, its the more overlooked tracks like 'Sweetness', 'Goodbye Sky Harbor' and 'If You Don't Don't' that make this record. Songs with catchy hooks blend seamlessly into soft melodic bubbles of happiness.

9) Anthem - Less Than Jake (2002) *

I'm a sucker for this kind of ska. Its upbeat with a lot of skank. The only difference here is that its been fused with a touch of melancholy. In the perfect world of trombones and saxomophones, something seems amiss in the lyrics. 'The Science of Selling Yourself Short' is athe perfect example.

8) Aha Shake Heartbreak - Kings of Leon (2004)

This came worryingly close to being an album of true excellence (*) but not quite. Nevertheless, this brought my attention to the band that would release one of the best known tracks of 2009. 'Four Kicks', 'The Bucket' and 'King of the Rodeo' do it for me every time. Their sound has changed quite a lot in 5 years, and if I'm completely honest, I prefer them way back when...

7) The War on Errorism - NOFX (2003)

This album is intrinsically linked in my head to Tony Hawks Underground. I first heard Separation of Church and Skate on the game and following my acquisition of said album, I'd play the game on mute and listen to 'Anarchy Camp' and 'We Got Two Jealous Agains', which tells the story of a guy going through a girls record collection to see if they'd be compatible (or i think it is anyway)

6) In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 - Coheed and Cambria (2003)

There's a certain person I know who once made me a mix CD which featured 'A Favor House Atlantic' - I was sold then (though I took some convincing I was listening to a dude) and I still love the album. 'The Light and the Glass' is beautiful and the end of 'The Crowing' is too.

We're halfway through now and this is NOT as easy as I didn't think it would be.

5) The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance (2006)

This may polarise opinion but when this came out, I listened to it non-stop. I listened at every given opportunity and it annoyed the hell out of long-suffering housemates. I think it's an incredible piece of work. Following their previous album, Three Cheers... wasn't gonna be easy but they hit the mainstream flying. With a new album rumoured soon, following TBP will be their biggest challenge to date.

4) Good Mourning - Alkaline Trio (2003)

A toss up between this and 'From Here To Infirmary', I think GM just edges it. Released in the same year as 'Sing The Sorrow' by AFI so its fair to say the genre I like to refer to as 'Dark' was getting my attention in a big way. Despite lyrics that some may consider disturbing or distasteful, I think AK3 carry it very well and will continue to do so.

3) From Under The Cork Tree - Fall Out Boy (2005) *

"AAAAAAGH I was enjoying the list but then he became so scene"

I knew when I first heard this album that this was only the beginning for FOB and I'm rarely right about these things so imagine my joy as I'm continually proven right. 'Sugar We're Going Down' and 'Dance Dance' are obvious choices but 'Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner' and 'Of All the Gin Joints...' are particular favourites.

2) Hot Fuss - The Killers (2004) *

Undeniable in its class. Brandon Flowers no longer sings about how Jenny was a friend of his, or that somebody told him something or other. Nowadays he's telling the story of the summer I started driving, the sunny days (rare as they were) that I drove around Neath and spent some of the best days of my life just doing nothing. Chilling with my friends and playing handball. Its what music is about for me, ok?

1) Puzzle - Biffy Clyro (2007) *

The whole reason this list was created was because other peoples lists had omitted this gem from their collections. The more I questioned why and the more I pondered my own list, the more I've come to realise that this IS my album of the decade.

'Folding Stars', a homage to Simon Neil's late mother is heart rending as he wrenches 'Eleanor' from his lungs. 'Who's Got a Match' is ridiculous but I love it and 'Living is a Problem...' to this day is unpredictable.

Truly a worthy #1

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Catalyst - New Found Glory (2004)
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out - Panic! At The Disco (2005)
By The Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers (2002) *
Cheer Up - Reel Big Fish (2002) *
Tell All Your Friends (2002)/Louder Now (2006) - Taking Back Sunday **
Sing The Sorrow - AFI (2003)


NB. I consider an album truly excellent when I like every single song. When each song connects with me and strikes a chord somewhere within. I have highlighted with an * the albums that can consider themselves thus privileged.

NB. There are albums which I have branded truly excellent which have not made the official list. If this puzzles you, make your own list. Sometimes one album can mean so much more to you than another...

Thank you

Post Script: I awoke the following morning in a cold sweat. "How could I have forgotten?" I asked myself.

11) The Green Album - Weezer (2001) *

This is Weezers best ever work by far. A soulful and beautiful record featuring some of their best and most underrated songs. 'Island in The Sun', 'Photograph' and 'O Girlfriend' make up just some of such blinders. Any and all MUST get this album!

Entry No.1

I took little or no coercion into making the decision to write my own blog. As a matter of fact, I took no coercion at all. I read other peoples and came to the conclusion that I might be good at it. However, because I came to that conclusion myself, I can't say the results will be or won't be spectacular.

Sohere's a brief rundown about myself:

Name: Jonathan

Age: 22

Hometown: Neath

Blood Type: No idea. Never given blood.

Occupation: Journalist

Hobbies: Rugby, radio presenting and all the usual other stuff like watching films, listening to music etc.

Favourite Aftershave: Burberry for men

Favourite Beverage: Staropramen

Bad Habits: Staying up far too late/early playing Football Manager. Also I'm not the tidiest person.

Things you do when your drunk that you shouldn't: Call EVERYONE and sing loudly to them. Or whinge about stuff that doesn't bother me when I'm not drunk.

I'm bored of that now, I wanna get on with writing my first ever blog.

Woke up about two o'clock today with an achey knee and 3 texts. My parents had a new mattress delivered and 'The Bee' works for the bed company. He text me to whinge about carrying the bed up the stairs, I told him I'd buy him a pint and to stop being such a girl.

Watched that Popstar to Operastar on ITV on Saturday. I rarely watch Saturday night TV anymore, which is sad because I used to love it. Gladiators, The Generation Game, Big Break and the monster that was Noels House Party have made way for The X Factor and other denominations of horrid reality TV rubbish.

But if the formula for the success of a reality TV show has been discovered by a Mr S. Cowell of London, then nobody told the makers of P2O who drafted in a diverse panel of judges.

You had Katherine and Rolando who make sense because they're operatic singers and they've trained these so called 'celebrities' (like the woman out of Shakespeares Sister or Bernie Nolan) and understand how they need to sound, though the whole mentor/judge relationship is bound to go wrong somewhere down the line.

Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen is a presenter on Classic Fm and if he was brought in as the Cowell/Morgan of the piece then they clearly haven't told him. He hasn't brought out the knives on anyone, instead giving vague praise coupled with a mild sarcastic remark...

And finally Meatloaf. Oh Meatloaf. You're just plain bonkers aren't you? With no insight on operatic singing other than a one time duet with Pavarotti and a voice that could drown out a small aircraft; (a dubious talent only attained as far as I'm aware by the legend that is Brian Blessed) he proceeded to heap unintelligible praise at each singer, making a point to stand as he did so and in the process nearly beheading Katherine Jenkins.

I really wanted Alex James to win. I really rooted for him! If you haven't had the pleasure, his performance can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpekDcOEiNE

I love how Myleene Klass introduces him with 'Who else but Alex James?' Well Myleene, I'd have said Damon Albarn, who was the SINGER in Blur, and not the bassist who quite blatantly can't carry a note but performs with such humour and novelty value that I'm pretty sure Louis Walsh wants him to open for Jedward.

Bloody hell I've written a lot!

Saturday night TV brings me onto Take Me Out, where a savage horde of desperate females get put off by a smarmy tosser. Paddy McGuinness tries hard, bless him, to channel the spirit of Cilla Black. (I know she's not dead!) He's even come up with his own catchy catchphrase "Remember girls; No likey, no lightey" I think that may have been when I started feeling queasy.

Long story short, the man is paraded in front of these 30 women, he performs a 'talent' which has involved juggling, playing the drums, fire breathing and there was the guy who thought he WAS Lemar or Mario or whatever he was singing.

Then some perfunctory embarrassing story crawls out of the woodwork. Usually a sister, mother or friend to dish the dirt on this character. If by this point, the woman aren't reviled enough to switch their light off, then the man gets his opportunity to whittle down his options to two.

This cruel cull usually sees the fat girl from Sheffield go first, then anyone too tall or not aesthetically pleasing enough for the gentleman, (it has turned into a brothel by this point) and then he asks the two remaining harridans a leading question and then chooses which one to date.

I find the whole show sickening, chauvinistic, shallow and utterly compelling.

All this from a man who apparently loathes Saturday Night TV??

Anyway, will post again soon when I come up with more stuff to talk about, I'm knackered now!