I left you hanging on a Thursday night wondering how it could be that any human could consume such a toxic beverage. Cast your mind back; it contained Chinese green tea, Absynthe and Wray and Nephews white overproof rum.
It's difficult to describe in words how it tastes. If you've tasted neat vodka before, you'll recognise the slightly sharp buzz in your mouth that instantly triggers your gag reflex. If you have no gag reflex, odds on, you are a filthy ho.
If you've drunk green tea before (and I hadn't) you will understand the concept of sieving a drink through your teeth. If not, the thing is full of little leaves floating around and making the already tough task of supping on beverage a lot less bearable.
V for Vendetta and OLH didn't seem entirely impressed with it. They spent their time daintily sipping small amounts and complaining that they didn't get dainty little teacups like Cpt. Loom and I did.
He, on the other hand, seemed to almost relish the foul concoction, drinking more than it seemed to me to be physically possible for the human body to withstand.
*Cpt. Loom gained +3 respect*
Anyway, after we decided we'd had enough of this underground shrine to the demons of drink, (it's actually a really nice place though) we headed off to Rock City...
Rock City is full of some of my happiest enduring memories of Nottingham. A regular fixture on a Thursday night in my second year. Many was the night I drank cheeky vimtos until my lips turned red and sang my heart out to Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance and Head Automatica with my best friends. Its where John and Katie first got together and its where OLH and I first got together.
This night, however, did not go as planned after some filthy rotter spiked OLH's drink. At the time, Cpt. Loom and I were unaware. We were dancing by the speakers wondering when the good music was going to start when V4V came over and told me not to worry. Probably not the ideal opener, because I instantly began to worry. When we reached her, she was sat down looking a little bit spaced but she's a strong cookie and after a while shook off the effects well enough to return to the dancefloor.
It's a good job she did, because otherwise we'd never have seen the greatest teenager EVER. This guy, and I shit you not, this guy was kissing a girl. "No, Grav," I hear you say! "Surely he wasn't kissing her, that most rare of nightclub pastimes. You need to get out more!"
Well, let me finish! This awesome chick magnet was kissing the girl in front of him and then he turned around and started kissing the girl behind him. He didn't miss a beat. So sudden was the 'rejection', I felt certain girl 1 would walk away stunned or crying, but NAY! She abided! She waited until he was bored of girl 2 and, sure as eggs come from chicken bums, he turned around and served up another round of tonsil tennis with more confidence than Andy Murray faced with J. Walter Weatherman
I think at one point some guy interrupted him for a moment, just to shake his damn hand to see if any of his frikkin mojo would rub off. The man was simply incredible.
I did get a bit distracted from watching this prince among men for a moment though, as some grinning loon appeared out of nowhere to shake MY hand.
Him: How you doing mate, you alright
Me: Do I know you?
Him: C'mon mate don't be like that. (to my friends, with his arm around me) I've known him ages. We used to be in a band together! (to me) C'mon man, lets do the dance!
And so it was that, in front of OLH, V4V and cpt. Loom, I proceeded to do a rubbish version of David Brent's comic relief dance while he did a similar sort of 'flashdance fused with MC Hammer shit'.
Mental
I went home the next day, readers, and I can say now, honestly, without hesitation, diversion or repetition, that it was one of the most enjoyable weeks of my entire life. Fact! Many thanks go to my wonderful friends Proudy and the Pres, cpt. Loom, V4V, OLH and her very accomodating housemates.
I've probably forgotten loads of other stuff that happened that week, but those were my abridged highlights and its been brilliant writing them down.
Next!
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